Encouraging Text Messages to Send Your Grandkids That Will Totally Make Their Day

Our grandkids came for the long weekend after Christmas, and then they went home. The house went quiet the way it does. Tom folded up the extra cot. I washed the last of the cocoa mugs and stood at the sink longer than I needed to.

That night I did something I had not done before. I sent one of the older grandkids a text. It was nothing fancy. I said I missed the noise. The reply came back fast, with a heart and a picture of the dog. I sat on the edge of the bed and read it three times.

So I started a notebook. It was one of my old recipe notebooks, half full of soup. I wrote down every text I sent that winter and spring and what came back. The little ones get their messages through their parents’ phones. The older ones have their own. Here are forty that landed. Some are mine. Some Tom muttered over my shoulder. Most of them took less than a minute to type.

A plain good morning

The first one I sent on purpose was on a Tuesday. I was up before Tom, which is rare. I typed, “Good morning. Grandma is thinking about you today.” I almost deleted it. It felt like nothing. The reply was a sleepy “morning gma” and a sun. I carried that around all day.

A short hello is enough. You do not need a reason.

Before the big test

Our middle one mentioned a spelling test coming up. I asked for the date and wrote it on the fridge. The night before I sent, “You have worked hard on those words. Go show them tomorrow.” The reply was one thumbs up. The next day I got a picture of the paper with a star on top.

Kids remember who knew the test was coming.

After the game that did not go well

The team lost. I heard about it from the car on the way home. I waited an hour, then sent, “I heard about the game. I also heard you kept playing hard until the end. That is the part I noticed.” No reply that night. The next morning there was a “thanks grandma.” That was plenty.

Point at the effort, not the score.

A picture of the last cookie

Tom ate most of the molasses cookies. I wrapped the last one, wrote a name on the foil, and put it in the freezer. Then I took a picture and sent it. “Saved you the last one. It has your name on it and Grandpa is not allowed near it.” The reply was three laughing faces.

A small promise with a picture goes a long way.

Proud for no reason at all

One rainy afternoon I had nothing to report. I sent, “I am proud of you today. No reason. Just am.” The reply was “why.” I wrote back, “Because you are you.” There was a long pause. Then a heart.

You do not have to wait for a reason to say it.

The old photo from the shoebox

Tom and I were going through the hall closet again. I found a school picture of our oldest, gap teeth and all. I sent it to that grandkid. “Found this one of your parent at your age. You have the same grin.” The reply was a screenshot. The grandkid had already set it as the lock screen.

Family pictures tell kids where they come from.

The snow report

It snowed hard in February. Tom went out with the shovel and grumbled the whole time. I sent a picture of his back. “It is snowing here. Grandpa is pretending he likes shoveling.” The reply was, “tell him I said hi.” I did. He pretended not to care.

Ordinary weather is a fine excuse to reach out.

Bad days end

I could tell from a short reply that the day had gone wrong. I did not ask what happened. I sent, “Bad days end. I have had a pile of them. You will be okay.” The reply was “ok.” A week later that grandkid told me the message helped. I had almost not sent it.

You can offer comfort without demanding the story.

A terrible knock knock joke

Tom gave me this one. “Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it is cold out here.” I sent it to the little ones through their dad’s phone. I got a voice recording of two kids groaning. I played it for Tom twice.

A bad joke is still a good reason to say hello.

The best thing you ate

One evening I sent, “What was the best thing you ate today?” I expected nothing. I got a full paragraph about a taco from the school lunch line. Then I got a question about whether I could make tacos next time. I could.

A question about food is a question kids will answer.

The bike in the driveway

I remembered a summer afternoon years ago. A grandkid wobbling down our driveway, Tom jogging behind with one hand out. I sent, “I remember when you learned to ride a bike in our driveway. You fell and got back on. You did not quit then either.” The reply was, “I still have the scar.” Then a picture of the knee.

Remind them of a time they already proved themselves.

Counting sleeps to a birthday

Our youngest told me a birthday was coming. I sent, “Three sleeps until your birthday. Grandpa is already hiding the present so he does not forget where he put it.” The reply was, “two sleeps actually.” I had counted wrong. We laughed about it. I fixed my calendar.

Kids like knowing you are counting too.

Grandpa asked first

Tom does not text. He asks me to. One morning he said, “Did you hear back from the kids?” before he even poured his coffee. I sent, “Your grandpa says hello. He would not admit it, but he asked about you before he asked about breakfast.” The reply was, “lol tell him hi.”

Pass along the love that other people are too shy to send.

You do not have to be the best

A grandkid wanted to quit an activity because another kid was better. I sent, “You do not have to be the best at it. You just have to keep showing up. That is most of it.” There was no reply. But the grandkid stayed in through the spring.

Give them permission to be average and keep going.

Call me when you have a minute

One Sunday I missed the sound of a voice. I sent, “Call me when you get a minute. No emergency. I just like your voice.” The phone rang twenty minutes later. We talked about nothing. I made a note in my book that this one worked.

Say plainly that nothing is wrong. Then they will call.

Break a leg tonight

There was a recital. I could not make the drive. I sent, “Break a leg tonight. I will be clapping from here.” Then at the time it started, I sent a clapping emoji. Just one. After the show I got a video of the bow.

Show up on the phone when you cannot show up in the room.

Soup with nobody to eat it

I made a pot of chicken soup out of habit. It was too much for two people. I took a picture of the pot and sent it. “I made your favorite soup and nobody here to eat it. Come fix that soon.” The reply was, “freeze some for me.” I did.

Food texts are an invitation without the pressure.

I saw you be kind

Over the holiday weekend, one of the older grandkids helped a smaller cousin with a puzzle. Nobody asked. I waited until they were home and sent, “You were kind to your cousin last weekend. I saw. That is the stuff that counts.” The reply was a quiet “thanks.”

Tell them what you saw, especially when they thought nobody was watching.

Your opening day somewhere unfamiliar

A grandkid was starting at a new school. The night before I sent, “Everybody is new on the first day, even the ones who act like they are not. Find one person to say hi to.” The next day I got, “found one. she likes horses.”

One small task is easier to carry than a pep talk.

The drawing on the fridge

A crayon drawing came home in a coat pocket. I put it on the fridge where the electric bill used to go. I sent a picture. “Your drawing is on my fridge. It beat out the electric bill for the spot.” The reply from the parent’s phone was a kid yelling in the background.

Kids want proof that their work has a place in your house.

Sleep tight from a quiet house

I sent this one late. “Sleep tight. The house is quiet and I am thinking of you.” No reply that night. The next afternoon there was, “did you sleep ok grandma.” I had not expected to be asked back.

A goodnight text can wait until morning for its answer.

Your parent was nervous too

A grandkid was worried about a tryout. I knew something. I sent, “Your mom was nervous about that at your age too. She threw up in the bushes before her first one. She turned out fine.” The reply was, “SHE DID NOT.” Then a text from my daughter asking why I told that story.

Kids like to know their parents were once scared and survived.

Tell me one thing about the game

I do not understand the games they play on the phone. I sent, “I do not understand the game you play, but I am glad you like it. Tell me one thing about it.” I got four paragraphs. I understood maybe half. I asked one more question. I got four more paragraphs.

You do not have to understand it to show interest.

Soup for a cold

I heard about a cold through the family chain. I made soup, put it in a jar, and sent it along with the next visit. Then I texted, “Heard you have a cold. Soup is on its way. Rest up and let your mom boss you a little.” The reply was a photo of a red nose.

Care that comes with a jar is care they can taste.

Grandpa burned the toast

A grandkid was upset about a mistake at school. I sent, “Mistakes are how you know you tried. Grandpa burned the toast again this morning. We are all still learning.” Tom did not love that I shared it. The reply was a picture of a burnt pancake from the week before.

Let them see that grown people mess up every day.

Thank you for the card

A thank you card came in the mail. It had a drawing of our house with too many windows. I put it on the windowsill. I sent a picture. “Thank you for the card. It is on the windowsill where I can see it from the sink.” The reply was, “you have more windows than that.”

Thank them for small things so they learn that small things matter.

The trash went out

Our oldest mentioned that a grandkid took the trash out without being asked. I sent, “Your dad told me you took out the trash without being asked. I had to sit down.” The reply was, “it was one time.” I said one time still counts.

Catch them doing the chore and say something.

The new haircut

A picture of a haircut came through the family thread. I sent, “Saw the new haircut. Very sharp. Grandpa says you look taller.” Tom had not said that. He agreed when I asked. The reply was a selfie with a serious face.

Notice the small changes. They notice that you noticed.

A seat at my table

Something had gone wrong, and I did not know what. I sent, “Whatever happens today, you still have a seat at my table.” It took a day to get a reply. It was a single heart. A week later that grandkid came for the weekend and sat in the same chair as always.

Make the welcome unconditional and say it out loud.

Standing up for a friend

I heard that a grandkid spoke up when a friend was being picked on. I sent, “I heard you stood up for a friend. That took guts. I am proud.” The reply was, “it wasnt a big deal.” I wrote back that it was a big deal to the friend.

Name the brave thing so they know it was brave.

The tomatoes came in

Last summer the grandkids helped put tomato plants in the ground. By July they were heavy with fruit. I took a picture of the first ripe ones in my hand and sent it. “The garden you helped plant has tomatoes. Come see what you started.” The reply was, “can we eat them.”

Show them that what they planted keeps growing when they are gone.

Monday is coming

On a Sunday night I sent, “Monday is coming. You can handle it. You have handled every Monday so far.” The reply was, “ugh.” Then, “thanks.” Tom said the ugh was the honest part.

A little dread is normal. A little reminder helps.

I listened to the whole song

A grandkid told me about a song. I did not know the band. I found it and listened in the kitchen while the kettle heated. I sent, “I tried the song you told me about. I am not sure about it. But I listened to the whole thing.” The reply was three laughing faces and a second song.

Try what they like. Be honest about it.

The lost sock

After a visit, Tom found a small striped sock under the couch. I put it on the arm of the chair and took a picture. “Grandpa found your sock under the couch. It is safe. Come get it.” The parent’s phone sent back a kid saying, “that is my favorite one.”

Lost things are an easy reason to say we still have a piece of you here.

You do not have to answer this

I sent this one on a Wednesday with no plan. “You do not have to answer this. I just wanted you to know I love you.” Nobody answered. I was fine with that. Two days later I got, “love you too grandma” at an odd hour.

Love without a required reply is the easiest kind to receive.

Your handwriting on the grocery list

During a visit, a grandkid added “ice cream” to my grocery list in big crooked letters. I kept the list. Days later I took a picture and sent it. “Your handwriting on my grocery list made me smile all day. I bought the ice cream.” The reply was, “which kind.”

Keep the small scraps. Then tell them you kept them.

A hard week is allowed

Something was off for a few days. Short replies. I sent, “If you are having a hard week, that is allowed. Tell me about it or do not. I am here either way.” The reply came the next evening. It was a long one. I read it twice and called.

Give them the choice to talk. Then be there when they take it.

The same moon

Tom and I were on the back step one night. The moon was big and low. I sent, “I saw the moon tonight and thought you might be looking at it too.” The reply was a blurry photo out a window. It was the same moon.

Point at something you can both see from far apart.

You made me laugh

During the last visit a grandkid did an impression of Tom carving the pot roast. I laughed until I had to sit down. A week later I sent, “You made me laugh so hard last weekend. I am still thinking about it. Grandpa still claims the end piece.” The reply was the impression again, in a video.

Tell them the laugh lasted longer than the visit.

The light is on

The last one in my notebook is the one I send most. “Come home any time. The light is on.” I send it after a visit. I send it after a hard week. I send it when I have nothing else to say. The replies are always different. The message does not change.

Keep one message that means the door is open. Send it often.

Forty texts in one notebook, and the spring was over before I knew it. Tom read the whole thing at the table one night and said I had used a lot of pictures of soup. He is not wrong. The thing I learned is that none of these took much. A sentence. A photo of a sock. A bad joke borrowed from a man who does not text.

The grandkids are coming again this weekend. The cot is back out. I will probably forget to send anything while they are here, because they will be at the table and I will be at the stove. Then they will leave, and the house will go quiet, and I will pick up the phone.

What is the last text you sent a grandkid, and what did they send back?